SCENE 1
[AJAY and Nitish were busy discussing words of English . Vocabulary….as they call it….each word has a meaning….there are different words with a same meaning…..then there are different meanings of a word …..opposites…..singular ……plurals… verbs …adverbs…..tenses…..nouns…pronouns…]
AJAY: “ Canine..”
NITISH: “ Yes …that’s the word, canine .”
AJAY: “ Canine habbits…means dog like habbits .”
[ ENTER Nischay]
NISCHAY: “Helloooo every each of you, who are you doing..??. “.
AJAY: “Who’s he Nitish?”
NITISH:” He..eh..he’s my friend…wait a second..”
[Nitish comes closer to Nishchay]
NITISH:” what are you doing here..??...please go..dont start off with your irritating dialogues now…”
NISHAY:” why what is happened..??...will you introduce me to your friend…not or yess..??”
NITISH:”nooo…!!..just gooo..”
NISCHAY: heloo..my Nischay..whoo you..??”
AJAY [laughs]:”hello Nischay..i’m Ajay..nice to meet you”[ holds Nischay’s hands and makes him sit..Nitish follows ]
NITISH:” soon you will realise how nice is it to meet him”
AJAY:” what do you mean.??.”
NISCHAY:” she always talks like this”
AJAY:” hahahahaha”
NITISH:” excuse me Nischay ..i’m he not she…”
NISCHAY: “ what difference in he and she…only ‘s’ is extra…he comes in she !!..”
AJAY:” hahahhaa…..oh my god i cant control myself..who is he Nitish..??”
NITISH : ” he is Nischay Saxena….just a friend..”
AJAY:” why is he speaking like this..?/..i mean isnt he educated..??”
NISCHAY:” i educated…nono…. i not educated
.…i Nischay Saxena… not educated Saxena…”
NITISH:” he means do u study or not…”
NISCHAY:” ohh….yes i study…i class 9th…the ninth which is after 8th…there are some nines that comes before tens…but my 9th come after 8th and 8th after 7th and… ”
AJAY:” hey hey hey….fine its ok…so if you are in class 9th…then i guess you are very weak in english..!!..”
NITISH :”never mind ..Nischay you go..we’ll talk later”
NISCHAY:” No way.. now Ajay has questioned my ‘englishablity’…I need to prove it..”
AJAY:” prove what..??...see the what are you speaking…you don’t even have knowledge of tenses..”
NISCHAY:” WHY i tensed..??..you tense..your family tense….and i give you tension if you tense me..”
NITISH:” stop guys….see ajay i told you’ll realise how nice is it to meet him”
AJAY:” absolutely…true nitish”
NISCHAY:” you think you have english and i don’t??...very ok very ok…i’ll prove that i’m a genius..i’ll prove i am Mr. English”
AJAY AND NITISH: “ hahahahahhahahahaha..”
AJAY:” what will he do next??”
NITISH:” nothing but go and cry in front of his brother..Drid-Nischay”.
SCENE 2
[Drid-Nischay is Nischay’s brother.He understands that his brother is weak in English but at the same time loves him…and hence never discourages him…though sometimes that takes a toll at him]
[ Drid-Nischay is reading a novel when he notices Nishchay writing something]
DRID-NISCHAY:” what are you doing nischay”
NISCHAY:” Nitish and his friend made fun me…laugh me…say i not english..”
DRID-NISCHAY:” oh that’s bad…but u don’t worry..some day you’ll prove them wrong..”
NISCHAY:” no…i do it today…i write novel…it become hit…Amir Khan make movie on it…i prove them wrong…”
DRID-NISCHAY:” yeah but what novel??”
NISCHAY:” i write the first chapter…you listen to it..?”
DRID-NISCHAY:”nononono…hmm i need to go somewhere”
NISCHAY:” no please sit and listen”
[holds his handsand and makes him sit]
NISCHAY:” once upon a time in Mumbai….Newton in Banana tree…
Banana on Newton head…..Newton eating Banana….Banana not good….Newton loose motion…..Newton cry…
again once upon a time in Mumbai….Newton sitting in grapes tree….grapes on Newton head….Newton eating grapes…grapes not good…Newton food poisioning…Newton cry…
again once upon a time in Mumbai…Newton sitting in coconut tree….coconut on Newton head…Newton Brain Haemorrhage
Newton cry
Newton standing in garden …Newton mummy falls off terrace…..Newton rushes to catch…mummy on Newton head…. Newton brain in coma…..and the rest of body in full stop….Newton could not cry …Newton in tension…why do things fall on him…
Newton in apple tree…apple on Newton head….Newton angry…throws apple back to tree…apple again on Newton head…Newton to tree ..tree to Newton… Newton to tree… tree to Newton….tree realises the concept of gravitation….tells Newton about it…Newton frames the three laws…”
NISCHAY:” how was my story Drid-Nischay…??”
DRID-NISCHAY:” all is well ….all is well…. all is well… all is well……”
NISCHAY:” yess i knew..thankyouu..”
DRID-NISCHAY:” are you sure you want to write it??..yoy need some guidance??..I mean I could guide you…the English is not correct I think..”
NISCHAY:” no I don’t...this novel make me MR. ENGLISH..!!..”
DRID-NISCHAY:”ok then bbye..i need to go..”[huries off]
SCENE 3
[Nitish and Ajay are playing video game when Rahul steps in]
RAHUL:” hey guys ..did you read todays news paper..??..NISCHAY has written a book and his fans on facebook have crossed over 10 million mark..!!”
NITISH AND AJAY:” WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT..??”
NITISH:” how is it possible??”
RAHUL:” this guy is a genius..!!...first week collections beat the Harry Potter novels..!!...media has given him the title of Mr. English..!!”
AJAY:” i just don’t believe it..”
RAHUL:” that’s true..!!..i wonder how he did that..!!..”
NITISH:” what did he wrote by the way??..”
RAHUL:” lets go and ask him.!!”
AJAY:” nice idea..!!..come lets go..!!..”
SCENE 4
[All the 3 friends enter Nishchay’s home…and find themselves in what is called a turnaround.A reporter is interviewing Nischay and his brother Drid-Nischay is trying to catch the attention ]
REPORTER:” so how does it feel to write a book..?”
NISCHAY:” oh it is great…great greater greatest…!!”
DRID-NISCHAY:” he’s my brother”
REPORTER: yaa…so Mr. Nischay..what prompted you to write this sort of book??”
DRID-NISCHAY:” he is my brother ..my my my brother…he me brother.. he me brother..!!..”
NISCHAY:” yess brother..let answer question me…so my friend Ajay Nitish made write book..”
DRID-NISCHAY:” may i say something..?”
REPROTER :” yes we know he is your brother…that’ll be tommorows headlines okkkiiee??”
DRID-NISCHAY:” okok thankyou”
REPORTER:” so how did the idea creep in??”
DRID-NISCHAY:” me brother genius”
NISCHAY:”ehmm…just clicked”
REPORTER:” so what’s next in this series??.”
NISCHAY:” hmmm…”
DRID-NISCHAY:”me dear brother tell tell …oh leave i’ll do …me dear brother working einstine’s novel now..!!..”
REPORTER:”thankyou for your time Mr. English…and..”
DRID-NISCHAY: “ brother brother..”
REPORTER[reluctantly]:”ya …brother”
SCENE 5
[The reporter is gone and so has Drid Nishchay. The 3 friends are staring at each other with Nishchay too looking at them.Rahul starts the conversation]
RAHUL:” congrats Nischay for your achievement”
NISCHAY:”welcome”
AJAY:” how did you do it..i can make out your english is still not that good..!!..”
NITISH:” yes tell me how did you became mr. english”
ALL 3:” yes please tell..!!”
NISCHAY:” hehehhe
i used brains…my english not good…but brain is…!!..”
ALL 3 :” how??”
NISCHAY:” the title of my book is ’100 WAYS ON HOW NOT TO SPEAK ENGLISH’..hahaahhahahahahaha ”.
ALL 3:” whaat??
RAHUL:” how could you do that..i mean..”
NITISH:” exactly…how could you think of it”
AJAY:” your english wasn’t good so you wrote a book to tell others how not to speak the way you speak…mind blowing idea..!!”
NISCHAY:” EVERYONE IS A HERO OF ONE’S OWN LIFE…………I MINE”
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